Adolescent Self-Harming Behavior: 
What Parents Can Do About It

Adolescents often face a multitude of stressors in schools, at home, and in their peer relationships. With the advances of technology and social media they can face an added layer of challenge. Media can bombard them with images that feed ideas on how they “should” look and act. Failure to live up to perceived societal norms, possible negative views of self, mood changes, life experiences and/or difficulty coping can push them toward self-injurious behaviors as a last resort.

Statistics show that self-harm has been rising among teens, regardless of culture and socioeconomic level. Self-harming can be difficult to understand. Parents may experience confusion and surprise upon discovering that their child has been engaging in self-harming behaviors. If you find yourself in this situation, it can be helpful to stay calm and to focus on how to get your child the help they may need and deserve.

What is Self-Harm

Self-harm is often misconstrued as the intention to end one’s life. Self-harm can be different and is generally not suicidal in nature, though it is imperative to rule this out. Referred to as “deliberate self-harm” or DSH, it is a complex, generally planned act, but where the intention to end life is often absent. Hence, it is also called “non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI).”

Self-harming can include cutting, burning, scratching, hitting, punching, head banging, excessive piercing, skin picking, interfering with healing of wounds etc. Studies reveal that self-injury has no single cause, though there are some more common motivating factors. It is important to encourage someone who is engaging in self-injury to seek professional help rather than trying to decide the motivating cause and intervene on your own.

What Does Self-Harming Mean

Unfortunately, self-injury is often interpreted as an act to shock and hurt others or to gain attention. This interpretation can be hurtful as this is rarely the case. Self-harm often carries other intense and symbolic meanings. It may be a physical representation of a hidden wound that the adolescent wants others to see or perceive.

In most cases self-injury begins as a means of coping with distress, however, this type of coping is neither healthy nor is it sustainable. Self-harming behavior is often a sign of something more such as depression, anxiety and/or trauma. Since self-harm is often done in private, it may take some time before people, including parents, would discover what is happening.

How Parents Can Help

Parents may notice certain signs that can make them suspect that their teen is engaging in self-harm. Unexplained cuts, burns or bruises, bloodied clothes, possession of sharp objects, locking oneself in the bedroom/bathroom for hours, or pulling body hairs, can be indications of self-harm, which parents would benefit from taking seriously.

You may feel a multitude of feelings after noticing these signs, however, it can be helpful to seek intervention from a professional therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC. Your professionally trained counselor can work with you and your adolescent to help address these behaviors and their underlying causes. Do not hesitate to seek the treatment your child deserves, call now to request an appointment.

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