Ending Conflict
Before It Breaks Up Your Family

Even the most perfect families are not exempted from conflict that can create broken, strained, or disconnected relationships. Conflicts are part and parcel of family and relationships. They are unavoidable because, though you’re a family, you are different from one another in so many ways, and differing values may lead you to dissimilar goals or ways of attaining them. These are the roots of family conflicts.

Unlike relationships with friends, it can be too painful to let go of relationships with family when expectations aren’t met. Your family, after all, could be your greatest source of happiness, encouragement, and selfless love. This is why conflict with them can also be a great source of distress, discouragement, and pain. Depression, anxiety and other emotional/behavioral conditions can result from acute and/or chronic conflicts.

Living with the Tension of Unresolved Conflicts

It is difficult to have an enjoyable and productive life when you have unresolved family conflicts. A tangible tension can be felt in the air when you and the person you have a conflict with are together in one room, during family events and celebrations. Moreover, this doesn’t just cause tension between the two of you: it can also affect other family members and lead you or him/her to avoid attending family affairs.

Letting time heal your wounds may not work in your favor. Once a misunderstanding has gone on for some time, the hurt can linger longer than it should. Though the warring members could opt to be civil to each other for the sake of the family, unresolved conflicts can still cause unpleasant tension on an otherwise celebratory occasion. Ending a family conflict may not be possible by minimizing contact or by cutting the person out of your life. The solution is conflict resolution.

 

Conflict Resolution: Mending Broken Family Ties

Where there are at least two people relating with each other, there will be conflict. It is inevitable. The more people are involved, the bigger the chance to breed larger and more conflicts. Despite the love that connects a family, it isn’t immune from the destructive effects of conflicts. The key, therefore, isn’t preventing conflicts, but resolving them.

What is conflict resolution? According to CTB, “Conflict resolution is a way for two or more parties to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement among them.” It is a way to settle disputes, whether in a family or in the workplace. Its goals are: (1) To come up with a win-win solution that’s agreeable for all members/parties involved; (2) To make haste in finding a solution; and (3) To protect the harmonious or loving relationship between the individuals or parties in conflict.

Conflict resolution requires skills for it to succeed. Even with these skills, however, relatives may find it challenging to facilitate conflict resolution within the family because they can be emotionally involved with the issues or the people. To mend broken family relationships, conflict resolution with a therapist or counselor may be a better choice. There are many benefits that your family can derive from family counseling, including ending heart-rending conflicts.

Resolving Conflicts with Family Counseling

Addressing the sources of misunderstandings and resolving the ensuing conflicts in a family can be extremely challenging, even for trained mediators. Aside from having a number of people complicating the conflict, due to the long history of family relationships, their perceptions can be influenced by past and deeply entrenched unresolved issues.

It takes a family counselor to look beyond the superficial motivations and to dig deeper into the personalities and experiences, not only of the conflicting members, but of the family as a whole. Family counseling, a form of psychotherapy, works to end family conflicts because it can “reduce distress and conflict by improving the systems of interactions between family members,” says Healthy Psych. It also works because it is a strength-based treatment. This means that it is based on a framework that considers family issues “as patterns or systems that need adjusting,” rather than a problem that resides in an individual member.

 A Step Toward Harmony in the Family

Your family can be the foundation of your courage, determination, and ambitions, just as they can be your weakness. Even though you love each other, your relationships are vulnerable to conflicts and issues. Try as you might, the strength of your bond will be tested at one time or another. Without successful resolution of your issues, you can lose your trust in one another or the memory of past conflicts can cut you off from the family. You can prevent this from happening if you take positive action with Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC.

In a serious family conflict, it takes work to forgive or apologize and rebuild the filial relationship. If maintaining harmony and rebuilding broken relationships are important for you, then resolving conflict is critical. Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC, can help you strengthen your family ties in the midst of conflict. Remember, you may find other people to fill their shoes, but no one can take the special place of your family in your heart.

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