Is Your Teen Trapped in Anger?

Romanticized imagery of parents and children abounds, but parenthood is also among the toughest jobs that you’ll ever have in your life. If you find young children challenging, wait until they reach adolescence and transform into teenagers who are often defiant and angry.

Not every teen has worrisome behavioral issues, and anger is a normal emotion. However, if your adolescent child’s anger and aggressiveness often lead to trouble, you are probably worried. Is your teen trapped in anger?

Behind the Anger: The Mind of an Angry Teen

Adolescents may be the size of adults and may try to act like adults, but they don’t have the brains of adults. Their brains are still developing until they reach their mid-twenties. To understand their brains is to understand how they think, which could involve puzzling contradictions. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), “Genes, childhood experience, and the environment in which a young person reaches adolescence all shape behavior… [but] all these factors act in the context of a brain that is changing, with its own impact on behavior.”

NIMH enumerates and explains some of these changes. One major change is the increase in connections among various parts of the brain, fueling the speedy transmission of impulses. The brain connections involved in teen emotions are also changing during this stage. This means that not only is the connectivity enhancing their learning and intellectual capacities, it is activating emotional responses that may manifest as frequent irritability and anger.

There will also be significant changes in their levels of their hormones during this phase in their life. Hormones affect physical growth and sexual development, but also the brain’s reaction to pressure and stresses. Thus, they complicate many teen responses and behaviors.

The Anger Trap

As an adult, you likely have learned to keep your anger under control. However, it can be difficult to rein in, especially for a child or an adolescent. Teens may scream at the top of their lungs, slam the door, or throw their bags/books in anger and exasperation. These aren’t the worst possibilities. If they get too out of control, they may do things that can alter their lives forever.

Of course, there is an immature brain behind the rage or uncontrolled anger. In addition, “Genes, childhood experience, and the environment” are shaping how your adolescent child expresses anger. If you have unknowingly established a “culture of anger” in your family, or if your teen is being bullied or surrounded by peers who are aggressive and defiant, he or she is in danger of being trapped in anger.

What is an anger trap? Psychologist Lawrence Stein, PhD, says that anger is a dangerous trap because “the intense feeling keeps you attached to the person or thing that is making you unhappy.” He also says that letting go is the first step to escape the grip of anger. When you have a teen who perceives things in a different, even distorted way because of immature brain connections, however, helping them out of this trap could be a tall order for you or any parent. This is why seeking professional help can make a difference.

The Angry Teen: Could It Be Depression or Another Issue?

A teen’s anger may not always manifest visibly. It has other more subtle expressions—being overly critical, impatience, avoidance of people, etc. Anger may also be an expression of other negative emotions, such as sadness, guilt, shame, or frustration, that are making him/her lash out at you or others. It is common for teens to exhibit anger to release their internal conflicts and contradictions, so it is vital to take a closer look at it.

Your teen’s anger may not be just a passing phase, but a sign of an emotional condition such as depression, anxiety, or poor self-esteem. It may not be easy to determine the root of your child’s anger, as it varies from one adolescent to another. You may notice that something is amiss or different, but it takes someone with training to confirm a diagnosis. Investing in counseling and therapy is prudent, and the therapists independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC, are experienced in these matters.

Teen aggression is a growing concern. You would not want your adolescent child’s life to be derailed by a grievous juvenile mistake. So, don’t just ignore the anger: because you love your child, respond with the right kind of help. Let an independent therapist contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC, guide you and your child through this difficult time.

Related Articles: