Protecting Your Marriage Jeopardized by Anxiety

Anyone with an anxiety disorder can attest to the fact that living constantly on the edge is no fun. What’s more, those with anxiety know that they are not the only ones who suffer: people close to them do as well—family, friends, and significant others. If you are married to someone with an anxiety disorder, knowing how you can help can make the battle a lot easier for both of you.

Regardless of type, anxiety is a psychological health condition affecting 40 million American adults. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), although anxiety disorders are highly treatable, only about one third of those affected receive treatment. Any form of anxiety is a struggle, but it can be doubly challenging when the condition becomes a third party in a marriage. It is something no couple wants to go through.

When Anxiety Rules in Your Marriage

An emotional condition such as anxiety has the power to alter the way a person thinks, feels, behaves, and functions on a daily basis. Those with anxiety often feel extremely exhausted, overwhelmed, and lacking in control over day-to-day life issues. Every area of life can potentially be affected, including work, social engagements, and relationships.

The same study by ADAA suggests that an anxiety disorder can take a major toll on marriages where one or both spouses are anxious. Although the respondents have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), the findings are likely true for other types of anxiety disorder. The study supports the fact that people with GAD experience at least one relationship problem, and are three times more likely to go through a series of difficulties concerning intimacy with their partner. It also revealed that 75 percent of spouses with the disorder are unable to perform normal activities with their partner.

A marriage complicated by anxiety creates a stressful environment for both spouses. The anxious half may suffer from limiting feelings and inability to face the daily demands of life, while the non-anxious spouse assumes more than the normal share of domestic, parenting, financial, and other responsibilities. The condition and needs of the spouse with an anxiety disorder tend to become a priority over family activities, household routines, and social life.

An anxiety disorder replaces the feeling of safety with insecurity, fear, and lack of self-confidence. With these emotions visibly marked in the anxious partner’s crankiness, sadness, lack of energy, and low self-esteem, it is no wonder that marital friendship and intimacy can be impaired. These challenges, when ignored, can tempt couples to consider separation or divorce as a way to get out of a marriage weakened by an anxiety disorder. Seeking treatment for anxiety is a beneficial option for helping someone you love conquer their fears and regaining control of your relationship.

Protecting Your Marriage: Beyond Worry

To a person with an anxiety disorder, the world may look terrifying. They have a tendency to seclude themselves in an attempt to hide or run away from perceived danger. Marital discord may contribute to the anxiety symptoms, resulting in the formation of emotional walls that can make it impossible to create or strengthen the bonds of a happy marriage. Difficulty connecting emotionally produces increased conflict and strain on an otherwise strong relationship. Anxiety can quickly create a negative cycle within the relationship, causing couples to become distant, numb, angry, or even violent.

The desire to protect that significant person from difficult emotions and conflict by hiding your own feelings may backfire as frustration and resentment builds up and marital closeness disappears. What is important at this time is to know how to find help. Whether you or your spouse has an anxiety disorder, it is crucial to have knowledge about the condition affecting you, your spouse, your family, and your marriage.

Many options are available when it comes to treating anxiety disorders, and most are known to have effective outcomes. By equipping yourself with the necessary information and finding the right help, you have the power to protect the most important person in your life. A non-judgmental, caring therapist can be a great ally during this restless time.

Finding the Right Third Party

Taking care of a partner with an anxiety disorder can be like filling up a bottomless bucket. It feels like you’re giving more than you can, but all your love, kindness, understanding, and patience is not enough.

It is important to remember that no matter how much you try, you alone cannot cure someone else’s anxiety. There are licensed professionals with the right training, expertise, and experience to address the unique needs of a person with an anxiety disorder. It is time to meet the right-fit therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC, to help reduce or eliminate symptoms of anxiety that may have lasted years. Just call CCS to make a formidable alliance with a professional who can help you and your spouse face the challenges of anxiety.

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