Staying Strong as a Couple
in Times of Grief

Grief is an overwhelming emotion that can be felt by anyone. When it is experienced by a wife/husband, it can seriously affect the other spouse, perhaps even causing a crisis that threatens the marriage. Grief, especially complicated grief, may unduly burden your marriage, making you both feel miserable and hopeless.

With counseling, it is possible to manage the challenges of grief. Many couples who have turned to counseling have made it an opportunity for their relationship to grow, bringing them closer together. If you wish to overcome your grief and improve things between you and your spouse, it isn’t too late to turn to marriage counseling.

The Nature of Grief in a Committed Relationship

Each individual has a unique way of grieving. Whether you are grieving over a breakup, the loss of a loved one, illness, or financial instability, staying strong through grief can be difficult, even for loving couples. It is not uncommon for each partner to expect the other to grieve the same way they do. However, while one may prefer to grieve in private, the other may want to search out new meaning in life.

Opposites often attract, and the differences may enrich or enhance the relationship. Grief, however, can exaggerate your differences to the point of putting additional strain on the marriage. Your ability to face grief as a couple depends on other factors that can influence your responses, including individual personality, previous experiences, the nature of the loss, and your cultural and religious beliefs and traditions.

Experiencing grief in your marriage can be physically and emotionally exhausting for both of you. You may lose the energy to care about your relationship. This doesn’t mean, however, that the love is gone. As a grieving couple, know that your marriage can survive and even flourish if both of you have the authentic desire to make your relationship a priority during this trying time.

A Relationship Challenged by Grief

Couples may face many trials during bereavement, including changing routines and staying strong for the rest of the family. It’s important to know that differences in the ways you confront the loss are absolutely normal. These can, however, lead to challenges in the relationship.

One of the common signs that your relationship is being tested is a growing distance between you. You talk less, or if you make an effort to talk, it may just be to blame each other, fueling resentment. Resentment can develop into guilt, making other problems in the relationship worse.

The heightened emotions may directly affect your physical, emotional, and psychological health. They may also lead to other related issues, such as substance abuse as a way of escape, disturbed relationships with children and other family members, and troubled family finances. However, as a couple, stay hopeful, because there are healthy ways to work together to help each other in the midst of these challenges.

Sharing Grief and Staying Strong as a Couple

Grief need not drive couples apart, even if they express it differently. Judging each other’s grief is not supportive or loving. It can be more productive to accept how your partner grieves and not use it as a measure of love. Expressing grief privately does not mean there is less pain or sadness. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done.

There are no rules or guidelines to follow while undergoing the stages of grief. Nothing can prepare you for the strain on your relationship. There are no quick fixes, and it may take time for you to heal. It can greatly help if you communicate to manage your feelings while respecting each other’s grieving preference.

The support of other people can be critical—especially that of a marriage counselor. Sharing your feelings with a capable counselor can lighten your burden and every intense emotion that comes with it.

Getting Past Grief that Grips Your Marriage

If you’re experiencing grief and finding it difficult to move on, you may find great benefit in grief counseling, for both of you as a couple and for other members of the family as well. Help is available at Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC. Family counseling for couples can help you manage life-changing events such as a loss.

At CCS — Sanford, NC, the independently contracted counselors can help you stay strong during grief to bounce back and strengthen your relationship. Life after losing someone or something significant may never be the same, but in time, with help from CCS — Sanford, NC, you and your spouse can hope and smile again.

Call now to request an appointment.  You can have a new and stronger relationship in the months and years to come.

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