Calming a Child with ODD

Do you wish for calmer, more enjoyable moments with your child? If your child has the symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), and you want that wish to come true, it is critical to understand what ODD is all about and your role in managing its symptoms.

Behaviors such as disobedience, arguing all the time, stubbornness, irritability, and anger do not necessarily indicate ODD. They are typical behaviors that children may manifest during one phase or another while growing up. However, if these behaviors are frequent and intense enough to impact your child’s relationships and interactions with others, it may be worthwhile to see a professional therapist. This could be the first critical action you can take to help your child attain calmness.

Help Your Child: Start by Understanding ODD

Oppositional Defiant Disorder is characterized by its hallmark signs and symptoms: “a chronic pattern of negativity, hostility, and non-compliant child behavior that is most often directed toward authority figures and has existed for at least 6 months,” says the American Psychiatric Association. Though defiance and hostility may also be exhibited by many children, ODD is a possibility when they are extreme, going beyond what you might call occasional talking back or obstinacy.

The symptoms of ODD can be severe enough to disrupt daily functioning at home, on the playground, or at school, so that the child stands out or people avoid them. The child may purposely annoy people or be illogically argumentative, uncooperative, or quick to blame others for the consequences of their misbehavior. They may also be short-tempered and get easily annoyed, throwing tantrums or having meltdowns when things turn sour.

There is no clear-cut explanation for what triggers ODD. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, it could evolve “out of a complex interaction of many different factors related to the basic biological, psychological, and social nature of the child and his or her relationships with the family and other environments, such as school.“ Regardless of how it starts, everyone agrees that it can be a real burden on a child, not to mention a parenting challenge.

The Stormy Life Awaiting Your Child

ODD symptoms may result in difficulty for your child. The condition can stand in the way of having a normal, fun childhood. Without intervention, the symptoms can affect relationships with family, peers and mentors in the school. When they grow up with it, the condition may follow them into adolescence and adulthood. If you want to prevent this future scenario, be an empowered parent—take action.

Parenting won’t be easy because standard parenting and discipline may not work on your child with ODD. They can be easily threatened by rules that they don’t understand or by punishments they feel they don’t deserve, triggering more defiant reactions. Their continued noncooperation and disobedience may distress and hurt you. It may make you feel frustrated, helpless, even guilty. Having to “walk on eggshells,” worried that a wrong move can trigger another breakdown, can be very stressful for the entire family.

Parenting one child in a special way may also affect your relationships with your spouse and other children. The other children may resent that the sibling with ODD is spared the usual discipline. The more severe the symptoms are, the more conflicts they can potentially breed in the family; aside from distressing every member, this contributes to the difficulties of the child with ODD.

Parenting Tips: Asking for Help Is Strength

It isn’t your fault if your child is beset by ODD, but know that you can be part of making things better for your child. Your parenting techniques will have to depart from what’s traditional. What do you need to know to raise and calm a child with ODD and help make them functional? What parenting approach can best serve this child and your other children as well, who may be hurt by the different way you treat them? How can you strengthen your bonds with your children in the face of this adversity?

When these issues arise, don’t be afraid to seek help. Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC, isn’t only a shoulder to lean on. To assess whether your child has ODD, let a counselor who is independently contracted with CCS help with an initial evaluation of symptoms.

Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC, can also help you find the strength and wisdom you need to be strong for your family. The right-fit counselor can guide you to be an empowered parent, intervening and helping your child with ODD to calm down, stay connected with others, and become and stay functional. Accessing family therapy is also a great strategy to keep the family connected, loving, and strong against adversities.

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