Self-harm among children and teens can be difficult to understand, but it is a reality that deserves attention. The National Institute for Care and Excellence says that self-harm is a rising concern among the young people of this generation in many countries around the world. In the UK, a 2015 survey commissioned by ChildLine, YouthNet, SelfHarmUK and YoungMinds revealed that more than half of its 2,000 (child/teen) respondents claimed “having self-harmed or knowing someone who had. Equally, eight out of 10 18 to 21-year-olds say they have self-harmed or know someone who has.”

According to Mental Health America (MHA), roughly 15 percent of adolescents (and as much as 4 percent of adults) report some form of self-harm in the United States. The statistics are even higher “among college students, with rates ranging from 17%-35%.”

The actual figures may be even higher. Afraid to be misunderstood or not be listened to, self-harm is often done in secrecy. Hence, the signs are masked, and the true incidences are not reported. Consequently, these young people aren’t getting the help that they need and deserve. You may be left wondering if this may be affecting your child and feel unsure of what to look out for.

The Realities of Self-harm

Self-harm is also referred to as “self-injury or self-mutilation.” The Mental Health Foundation defines it as: “A wide range of things that people do to themselves in a deliberate and sometimes hidden way, which are directly damaging to them.”

According to MHA, some of the most common methods are: “skin cutting (70-90%), head banging or hitting (21%-44%) and burning (15%-35%)” It can also manifest in terms of high levels of risk-taking behaviors, such as aggression and involvement in fights, excessive drinking, use of drugs, body modifications (tattooing and piercing), and other dangerous actions/involvements.

Self-harm is largely misunderstood because it is not often discussed. Many parents may find it difficult to accept or talk about, seeing it as their “failure” or something they may have unknowingly instigated. Those who self-harm, on the other hand, could be deliberately hurting themselves because they are confused and need to do something about it.

Why Do People Self-Harm?

Self-harm is also often misunderstood because it can be scary. Parents can panic upon learning or seeing that their child has been self-injuring. Fear can interfere with logical thinking and analysis, making it more difficult to understand the underlying motives of self-harm. Fear can also manifest itself in the form of anger, further pushing away your child.

The reasons why young people resort to self-harm are varied. The most common reasons could be intense feelings of guilt, anger, self-loathing, and hopelessness triggered by severe social pressures, trauma and/or an emotional condition. Being closely linked to depression and anxiety, these emotional conditions may also contribute to self-injury.

It can also be their way of releasing a perceived pressure or of shifting their attention from the emotion to the pain. If it is being done to feel numb, to punish them, or to experience euphoria, the need for professional help is undeniable. Self-harm is a red flag that deserves professional attention.

What may further complicate self-harm is the fact that it can appear like it is a suicide attempt. Logically, it is easy to see where one might conclude that a person who is self-harming is just a step away from being suicidal. Experts, however, say that they could be at higher risk for suicide, but it can and often is only a way to handle whatever is distressing them.

What to Watch Out For

Most of those who self-harm do their best to conceal their marks – scars, bruises, scabs, or fresh cuts- underneath their clothes. Pay attention when your child is inappropriately dressed in long-sleeved or always in long pants, even while in the house or in the middle of summer. Aside from their unexplained bruises, wounds or burns, some of the warning signs to watch out for according to NHS Choices are:

• Signs of depression, such as low mood, tearfulness or a lack of motivation or interest in anything.
• Expressed self-loathing and expressing a wish to punish themselves.
• Statements alluding to not wanting to go on and wishing to end it all.
• Becoming very withdrawn and not speaking to others
• Changes in eating habits or being secretive about eating, and any unusual weight loss or weight gain
• Signs of low self-esteem, such as blaming themselves for any problems or thinking they’re not good enough for something
• Signs they have been pulling out their hair
• Signs of alcohol or drugs use

Unmasking the Signs with a Professional

Even when self-harm is meant to handle pressures or adjust to changes and challenges, there is no doubt that it is still a dangerous behavior for your child. What can you do about it? Unmasking the signs can be challenging for any parent, but it is something you need to do – the sooner, the better. If you suspect that your child is injuring themselves, don’t waste time; seek help from Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC. Call today to schedule an appointment.

Related Articles:

• Adolescent Self-Harming Behavior: What Parents Can Do About It
• Spotting the Signs of Self Harm for Early Intervention