These days, the word “depressed” is commonly used to mean “unhappy,” “sad,” or “dejected.” It is often used to describe a temporary feeling that is generally negative and disheartening. In the field of mental health, “depressed” refers more to clinical depression. To be diagnosed with clinical depression you must experience certain symptoms and meet specific criteria. It is very different from feeling depressed.

In marriage, conflict can be common and expected. While marriage can bring you unbelievable happiness it can also bring sadness. If you are worried that your feelings of sadness may be getting worse or evolving into depression, you may wonder if resolving marital conflict can make you feel less depressed.

If marital issues are contributing to a spouse feeling depressed, resolving them can help. If clinical depression is present, conflict resolution can still be helpful, though more will likely be required.

What Is Clinical Depression?

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) defines clinical depression as “a common but serious mood disorder. It causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working. To be diagnosed with depression, the symptoms must be present for at least two weeks.”

If you are experiencing depression the chance of conflict in your marriage is higher. Symptoms can cause you to respond negatively to minor issues, exacerbating them or making matters complicated around the house. This can result in sadness, frustration and stress for everyone involved.

What Are Its Causes?

It isn’t easy to pinpoint the triggers of clinical depression. It is a complex emotional condition that has no specific causes. According to WebMD, there are several factors “that may increase the chance of depression,” including conflict, major life events, serious illness, and other issues. Any person, especially those with a genetic predisposition, may become depressed when marital conflict is unresolved or compounded by other stressors.

Can unresolved marital issues cause depression?  While marital conflict may not directly cause clinical depression, it can put you at greater risk for depression. The link between depression and conflict in marriage is supported by several studies. Specifically, the study “Marital Conflict, Depressive Symptoms, and Functional Impairment” by Choi and Marks (2008) that showed “marital conflict directly led to increases in depression and functional impairment and indirectly led to a rise in depression via functional impairment.”

Understanding the Connection

Marriage can be positive. Choi and Marks pointed out that they tend to enjoy better health and longer life than unmarried people. This can be attributed to having someone who genuinely cares for you, providing “emotional, social support, meaning and purpose in life, and social control.” This can foster overall wellness.

Unfortunately, unhealthy relationships may place greater strain in other areas of life, such as parenting and work. Feeling unhappy has also been linked with less motivation to take care of yourself, physical symptoms, and poor health. Frustration and sadness may also be expressed in irritability, constant anger, and feeling overwhelmed, all of which are contributors to major arguments.

Resolving Marital Issues with Counseling

All relationships require work, especially healthy ones. Minor differences and clashes can’t be avoided, but they also can’t be ignored. Aside from being a threat to the stability of your marriage, unresolved marital conflict can make both of you unhappy, frustrated, and more susceptible to clinical depression.

Most differences and conflicts are manageable if you address them sooner rather than later. It can be difficult to find resolution when conflicts are deep rooted. We have strong feelings surrounding difficult topics and it can be difficult to manage our emotions when discussing. Having a skilled marriage counselor can help you find resolution in a safe and supportive environment. 

Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC contracts with skilled couples’ therapists. Rather than letting tension continue to mount and your emotions take control, do something positive for your relationship and mental health. Call CCS today to get started.