Counseling as an Intervention: Surviving the Marital Crisis
It can be normal for couples to experience high and lows. They usually occur when you are in a relationship as close as a marriage. Any married couple goes through rough patches every now and then and you too may be challenged by problems considered part of life and love. Over the years, there may be problems that can cause your marriage to get off track, and it is up to you to resolve conflict and adapt to the changes along the way. This isn’t always easy; marriage counseling can help.
A Marital Crisis is Different
More than the bumps experienced down the marital road, couples may get entangled in crises when one or both begin to question their relationship. Crisis can be more serious and more difficult than you think you can handle. A crisis in a marriage can threaten to tear apart the very core of the relationship – love and trust. These types of challenges generally don’t happen out of the blue but are generally the result of a problem that has been continually ignored and allowed to get out of control.
Many marriage crises are the result of an issue that has embedded its roots deeply into the relationship. For example, a spouse’s domineering nature may be tolerated up to a certain level. If a partner is not expressive about their emotions, there may be concerns about connection and intimacy. Even though a person’s character can change over time, it does not change quickly enough for couples to ignore the seeds of discord slowly growing. When couples stop being loving, responsible and honest, there can be a crisis brewing.
A marital crisis can paint uncertainty in the relationship. It is a point wherein the marriage can either improve or become worse. Unlike a marriage headed for divorce, a marriage crisis is a struggle between strongly competing emotions and desires. The ambivalent spouse may have difficulty deciding whether to stay in the relationship, there may be happiness and satisfaction on one side while the other side is cast in doubts and regrets.
Seeking Counseling When Love is Not Enough
If you or your partner are considering a divorce or separation, chances are your marriage is experiencing a crisis. Your life has changed in an instant and you may feel like you are at the end of your rope. You may feel confused about how to overcome feelings like anger, rejection, shame, fear, depression and anxiety. At the same time, you may feel so hopeless and hurt that you may want to give up, believing there are no other options.
Your mind is probably reeling, and you find it difficult to think clearly. You have every right to feel this way. The wounds inflicted by a marital crisis are undoubtedly deep and complex and will take time to heal. It can be extremely painful and traumatic to be emotionally hurt by someone you love, depend on, and trust.
Perhaps the most important lesson a marriage crisis teaches us is that it takes conscious effort to maintain a relationship. Like any other commitment, marriage takes effort and work to make it successful. However, you need more than love when faced with a marital crisis. The earlier you acquire the tools to keep the relationship in good shape, the more likely it will last. Marriage counseling can help. A therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC can help you and your spouse find resolution and move forward together. Call today to schedule your first appointment.