Detecting Low Self-Esteem
in Your Child

Some children are naturally friendly and outgoing, while some are naturally shy and introverted. Regardless of what personality type children have, to a certain extent they should be able to see themselves as unique and special. This sense of self-worth or self-esteem is a vital component in their ability to live happy and productive lives.  As early as possible, it is important to detect signs of low self-esteem in your child.

Ignoring the signs of low self-esteem can make your child’s life more difficult. Untreated, they may experience physical and mental health conditions, not to mention bringing low self-esteem beyond childhood.

Why Low Self-Esteem Can Be Missed

Low self-esteem in children can remain undetected for a long time because many factors can make it difficult to see. Some children manifest signs of low self-esteem only in certain environments, or only when they are with certain people, or when they are doing things they are not good at. At the same time, the child who seems painfully shy can act with admirable self-confidence when tackling a familiar task.

Parents need to be sensitive to signs that their children need help in the way they view themselves. Self-esteem changes throughout our lives, which is good news when it comes to improving it. You can help your child to improve the way they view themselves, especially with the help of a skilled therapist. 

Signs of Low Self-Esteem

Some children will alert you to their inner negative narrative by saying things like, “I am so stupid!” or “I’m such a loser!” Many, however, will hide their low sense of self-worth. Here are a few of the behaviors that may indicate low self-esteem:

Refusing to participate. Many children who suffer from low self-esteem consistently refuse to join contests, participate in games, or engage in unfamiliar tasks. This is often rooted in their belief that they will fail. They may also refuse to participate in anything competitive – possibly because they anticipate losing, and they want to avoid that.

Clowning or heckling. When children with low self-esteem feel pressured, they can also resort to clowning, acting silly, or making heckling comments. Many parents understandably mistake these disruptive actions as being expected misbehavior, and some will simply chalk it up to their child “fooling around”.

Aggression and bullying. Children with a low sense of self-worth are plagued with feelings of inadequacy. To deflect this insecurity, they sometimes target other children in whom they perceive weakness. In a way, this directs their focus away from their own burdens towards others, but it can also bury their own insecurities even deeper.

Controlling behavior. When you see children who always try to dictate what games to play, or who gets to play, they may be trying to take control of their lives. This can be an indicator of low self-esteem, and it is highly possible that other children will avoid playing with them. This, of course, tends to further aggravate their self-esteem problems.

Taking the First Step

If you see your child refusing to take on games or activities that should be part of daily living, or if you hear your child expressing thoughts about failing, they may be experiencing low self-esteem. Intervening sooner rather than later can make a big difference.

Low self-esteem can impact the way your child lives their lives, but it can be improved. Counseling can help your child build their self-worth and begin seeing themselves in a more positive light. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC today to get started.

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