Change is a constant in every person’s life. There are prayed-for and welcome changes: job promotion, the birth of a healthy baby, a get together with old friends, etc. There are dreadful changes that bring pain, guilt, and fear: job loss, the demise of a loved one, coming home to an empty nest, etc. Both positive and negative changes may be sources of pressure and anxiety.

Life transitions can be extremely challenging. If you are having difficulty adjusting to a change you have no control over, take heart.  Even when the change is not a welcomed one, there may be fresh opportunities that it may bring. A helpful approach to adjust to these changes is to speak to someone who can help you see the transition in a new, hopeful light, and assist you in working through any issues that the changes have brought about.

Helping Your Child Adjust

Most children don’t feel comfortable with change. Moving to a new home and school because of a PCS (permanent change of station) or divorce can scare them. If they become sullen, irritable, or withdrawn, start getting low grades, or refuse to go to school, do not ignore these signs. They may be having difficulty adjusting to the change.

A child who feels overwhelmed, guilty, or scared in a new life situation or environment may need more than a hug or encouragement. They may need to understand that the change is not their fault and find concrete ways to sort out and handle their issues. If you are at a loss for words or means because you are also adjusting, seek professional help for your child (and yourself).

Your child can benefit from therapy using age-appropriate techniques tailored to address their issues. Play therapy, talk therapy, and other creative approaches can help them accept the change and empower them to harness the opportunities that the change has ushered into their life. Your child may even become more resilient when facing other challenges as they grow up.

Handling Young Adult Adjustment Issues

Maturity has its advantages, and independence is sweet, but neither warrants a smooth life. Becoming responsible for your own life (and perhaps a family later on) can be terrifying. You will be pressured to get a job to support your needs. You may pursue higher education to improve your job and finances. Around this age, you can be searching for a Mr. or Miss Right. Though romance can be inspiring, it can also be nerve-wracking.

Adults have many critical decisions to make that affect their lives and futures, and they also need support as they navigate through life. You need to be confident and strong to make success work for you or to rise above failure. Creating positive energy and motivation is not easy, especially during trying times.

To stand up against the rigors of adulthood, you need to invest in finding the right assistance to support you through the rough times. That assistance can be from someone who is trained to listen, provide encouragement, and sort out issues to see the opportunities that life transitions bring. A caring and capable counselor can also help when you’re facing emotional issues such as depression, self-doubt, anxiety, or substance abuse.

Letting Go and Rediscovering Anew

“How time flies!” most people say when their children start leaving home to build their own nests. In the past you may have wished your children were grown and independent, but when the time comes, letting go can be difficult. Now that you’re all alone in your nest, it is difficult not to miss being there to help your children every day.

What is “empty nest syndrome”? According to Psychology Today, “Our identities are defined by the various roles we play in life. The larger and more meaningful a role is, the more significant aspect of our identity it becomes.” Parenting is an important role that often defines who a person is. This is why you may feel an emptiness when your last child flies out to build their own nest. Empty nest syndrome isn’t just about profoundly missing one’s child: it is also about the impact on your identity.

It is not easy to let go and adjust to having your children living far from you. To be philosophical about it, as Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Your children are not your children. … They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.” At this time in your life, you can choose to let go, move on and enjoy your new life, continue your interrupted life, or rediscover and explore opportunities that can bring you new meaning. At a time when you may be very lonely, talking to a counselor can be very positive.

A Positive Approach from a Life Coach

Though life transitions can easily overwhelm you with pressure and confusion, remember that they can similarly influence your life and personal growth in ways you may not have imagined. To adjust and then embrace the change whether it is expected, wished for, or unwanted, call Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC, for assistance.

Counseling, coaching, or therapy can be a powerful, proactive strategy for easing your adjustment issues or those of another family member. A counselor independently contracted with CCS in Sanford, NC, can help you see your life transitions with new eyes. They can help you understand the situation, work through the issues involved, see the positive side of the change, and explore your options.