Anger can be a “normal”, healthy emotion, and its release can leave you feeling better or relieved. However, an outburst that is unwarranted, excessive, or uncontrolled can leave you regretful, disgraced, even anxious. The American Psychological Association (AMA) affirms these ideas, saying that “Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.”

While releasing your emotions is productive, it’s often best that you feel that you remain in control. Few enjoy feeling like they are at the mercy of their feelings. If you find yourself often feeling sorry and regretful for doing or saying unpleasant things when you’re angry, you can do something about it. Therapy can help. 

Understanding Anger

Anger is a natural emotional response.

It is an emotion that even young children express. It is a product of the “fight or flight” system that can put your body and mind on alert in the presence of a perceived danger. It is a way of releasing energy that is generated when you respond to a perceived threat or danger to protect yourself, or even a response to irritability.

Be aware, however, that the “fight or flight” system can proceed even when danger isn’t imminent. Despite the absence of real danger, your anger can be genuine and powerful. Making sure that you can express your anger in healthy ways is imperative.

Negative Aspects of Anger

Anger can create a great deal of problems. It is often a product of internal rumination and/or repressed emotions. Anger can be outwardly expressed in ways that are harmful—arguing, shouting, cursing, throwing or breaking things, etc. Depression may look like anger in children. Uncontrolled anger can ruin your relationships with your family, classmates and teachers, or people in the workplace.

Anger isn’t only an emotional concern: it can also damage your physical health. It can trigger headaches, muscle tension, or an increased heart rate. According to Howard Kassinove, PhD, if it persists, it can “affect many of the body’s systems, such as the cardiovascular, immune, digestive and central nervous systems.” Studies reveal that chronic anger can increase the risk of cardiovascular illnesses, gastric ulcers, bowel disorders, and some types of cancers, while lowering the immune system and even slowing wound healing.

Anger can be a substitute emotional response

People commonly use anger to mask their other feelings. Anger can be an effective smokescreen for grief, pain, shame, or guilt. It can take your attention away from other more troubling emotions. As these emotions transmute into anger, you may feel them less. You may do this consciously in an attempt to feel better, or it can happen unconsciously, working like a fortress that guards your feelings from further pain.

Therefore, if you are frequently responding to petty or insignificant matters with unjustified anger, it pays to know what negative emotions your anger could be masking. It is no wonder that anger is a symptom of several other conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. If it is a symptom of a serious behavioral health condition, consulting with a trained counselor can be helpful.

When to Seek Help

You can’t avoid feeling angry all your life. Despite your best effort, there will be occasions when you get angry, and it can be positive. If it is justified, is meant to assert your rights, and is occasional, don’t worry about it—you are just being human. If anger is something that you can consciously control, it can be a positive force in your life.

If losing control of your anger is more the rule than an exception, you may be overwhelmed with frustration—but it isn’t the end of the world. Seek help from an independent therapist contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC. There are a number of strategies or tools that they can use to help you.  

Life can be very unpredictable, but don’t let anger derail what you have built. You can find healthy ways to cope with anger. Call CCS today to schedule your first appointment.

Related Articles:

• An Adult’s Way Out of Daily Irritability
• Generational Anger: How Can Anger Affect a Family?
• Is Your Teen Trapped in Anger?
• Depression Sometimes Looks Like Anger in Children