Responding to Life Pressures Without Anger

Anger is a response to a stimulus or trigger that makes you feel rejected, in danger, or hurt. It can be a normal, healthy emotion, and its release can make you feel better or relieved. However, an outburst that is unwarranted, excessive, or uncontrolled can leave you regretful, disgraced, even distressed or anxious. The American Psychological Association (AMA) affirms these ideas, saying that “Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.”

Thus, keeping your anger on a tight rein is important. While releasing your emotions is productive, they should remain under control, so you don’t feel like you’re at the mercy of a volatile and potent force. If you find yourself often feeling sorry and repentant for doing or saying unpleasant things when angry, do something positive about it with the help of a qualified therapist.

Understanding the Emotional Response Called “Anger”

Anger is a natural emotional response.

It is an emotion that even young children express when misunderstood. It is a product of the “fight or flight” system that can put your body and mind on alert in the presence of a perceived danger. It is a way of releasing the energy that is generated when you respond to the threat or danger to protect yourself, or a way out of your irritability.

Be aware, however, that the “fight or flight” system can proceed even when the danger isn’t real. Despite the absence of real danger, your anger can be genuine and powerful. This makes anger dangerous in itself, if it can’t be controlled or expressed in a productive manner.

Anger has negative aspects.

Anger can contribute to your major issues and life circumstances. It is a product of internal rumination and a forceful internal emotion, but it can be outwardly expressed in ways that are harmful—arguing, shouting, cursing, and scorning, as well as throwing or breaking things, etc. Sometimes, depression may look like anger in children. Uncontrolled anger can ruin your relationships with your family, classmates and teachers, or people in the workplace.

Anger isn’t only an emotional concern: it can also damage your physical health. It can trigger headaches, muscle tension, or an increased heart rate. According to Howard Kassinove, PhD, if it persists, it can “affect many of the body’s systems, such as the cardiovascular, immune, digestive and central nervous systems.” Studies reveal that chronic anger can increase the risk of cardiovascular illnesses, gastric ulcers, bowel disorders, and some types of cancers, while lowering the immune system and slowing wound healing.

Anger can be a substitute emotional response.

When overwrought with negative emotions that they don’t clearly understand, people commonly use anger to mask their other feelings. Anger can be an effective smokescreen for grief, pain, shame, or guilt. It can take your attention away from other more troubling emotions. As these emotions transmute into anger, you may feel them less. You may do this consciously to alleviate the heaviness in your heart, or it can happen unconsciously, working like a fortress that guards your feelings from further pain.

Therefore, if you are frequently responding to petty or insignificant matters with unjustified anger, it pays to know what negative emotions it could be masking. It is no wonder that anger is a symptom of several emotional conditions or mood disorders, such as depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. If it is a symptom of a serious emotional/behavioral condition, it is critical to get it evaluated along with the other symptoms for proper treatment.

When to Seek Help

You can’t avoid feeling angry all your life. Despite your best effort, there will be occasions when you get angry, and it can be positive. If it is justified, is meant to assert your rights, and is occasional, don’t worry about it—you are just being human. If it usually dissipates quickly and if you can confront the subject of your anger without being aggressive or accusatory, it can be regarded as a healthy way to resolve your issues. If anger is something that you can consciously control, it can be a positive force in your life.

If losing control of your anger is more the rule than an exception, you may be overwhelmed with frustration—but it isn’t the end of the world. Seek help from an independent therapist contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC. There are a number of strategies or tools that they can use to help you.  

Life can be very unpredictable, but don’t let anger issues derail what you have painstakingly built. Unreasonable, excessive, and frequent anger is a force that you must control to protect your investments and rewards in life, such as beautiful relationships and emotional/physical wellness. It may not be easy, but it is achievable with the help of a counselor contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Sanford, NC.

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