A person’s identity evolves throughout life. This means that in time you can become the person you truly want to be. The process of discovering your identity – wondering about yourself, who you are and why – is an important process that usually starts during adolescence.  For some, it can happen very naturally, for others, however, the process can bring about what’s known as “growing pains.”

As your body and hormones change rapidly over a relatively brief time, you may feel confused, uncertain and alone. During your quest for knowing your identity, you may begin to establish who you are through these five common ways – status symbols, forbidden behaviors, rebellion, idols, and/or cliquish exclusion. While many teens go through this and may behave in similar ways, how you embrace or respond to these may differ. If the growing pains associated with identity formation are making you lose your self-esteem, doubt yourself, or struggle with painful emotions, professional guidance can help.

Adolescent Identity Formation: What is it?

“Who am I?” is an age-old question you may likely ask yourself as this “mystery” unfolds, sometime between puberty and adolescence or ages 12 to 18.  Defining your identity or self-concept can become a very engrossing task that usually emerges during this stage in your life. It is so salient that it preoccupies you, even when you don’t understand it or the importance of self-concept. The strong desire to discover and explore “self” is the start of the process called “identity formation.”

Identity formation encompasses the process of forming your personal sense of who you are. It is also called “individuation.”  It refers to the development of your unique personality as a continuing entity during this stage of life. It is a significant process that will provide you with a sense of individuality or distinctiveness as a person. It is upon this identity that your principles, faiths or beliefs, and aspirations would eventually be anchored.

Your identity may change and evolve throughout life. It will be influenced by a lot of factors, particularly psychosocial, says developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst Erik Erikson. He emphasizes that discovering teen identity “is a highly cognitive and social process.” You are likely to develop your self-concept as you take and process cues from your environment, life experiences, opinions and perceptions, and as you react to your family and friends. It is important to note that looking to others is a significant element in discovering who you are.

Behind the Quest: The Teen Brain

Identity formation comes along with adolescence when neural changes take place in their brain. According to the Scientific American, research links it to the “development of a key brain area (that) leads to self-consciousness.” Brain-imaging studies show that it could be “the result of changes in brain anatomy linked with the self…”

For instance, the part of the brain called the dorsal medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC) is engaged by teens during socio-emotional situations or scenarios that involve the opinion of others, says Sarah-Jayne Blakemore, a cognitive neuroscientist with the University College London and colleagues. On the other hand, emotions that do not involve other people’s opinions, such as repulsion and fear, do not seem to involve the dorsal MPFC. This part of the brain develops last, just before they start asking the question: Who am I?

Why do the opinions of other people matter so much to teens? Experts believe that it is connected to the development of your sense of independence. As you draw away from parental supervision, you may start relying on other people, particularly your peers and others you admire.  The influence of other people’s opinions and processing them towards self-reflection can bring about increased activity in the dorsal MPFC. As you grow older and become more competent at self-reflection, this brain activity decreases.

Figuring Out Your Identity: What to Watch Out For

Along with the enormous changes in your body, brain, feelings and environment; discovering who you are can be an enormous challenge. Not being able to control the process because of a maturing brain (or dorsal MPFC), you may respond in unexpected ways to the stimuli in your environment. Confused and feeling misunderstood, there can be a risk of turning to inappropriate influences or acting out your feelings in an unhealthy manner.

The confusion may make it difficult for you to decide how to respond to various hurdles in your life. Will you ignore them or make them your main concern? Will it be fitting to develop a reserved or an outgoing personality? Is it alright to be friendly or distant to teens who may or may not be like you? To what extent will you allow your parents to affect your decisions? What are your boundaries and responsibilities?

While responding to your experiences and internal/external influences, you may begin to initiate changes. You may change your hair color, sense of fashion, even your expressions and speech, along with other preferences. You may develop a passion for dancing or sports or something that didn’t interest you before because of peers. You may hear family and friends saying that you’re a “changed person.” Consequently, you may feel misunderstood or out of place, even sad, anxious or overwhelmed. When unable to discover a solid self-concept, you run the risk of “identity crisis.” The term first used by Erik Erikson which means “the failure to achieve ego identity during adolescence.”

What You and Your Parents Can Do

You are not alone. Every teen you know is going through or has gone through this process of nature. While the individual experiences may be different for each person, everyone will eventually go through identity formation. If you are struggling with certain influencing factors – your personality, parental tension, peers, etc.- it may be time to share these concerns with your parents. Remember, a parent or guardian must call and schedule and must come with you to your first appointment. A caring therapist contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC, can be the kind of help you need most at this time.

It is a common reaction to respond to the changes happening in your body, brain and environment. In so doing, you might experiment with new interests and appearances. You may emulate those you admire. You may get involved with a new peer group and different cliques. Some may contribute to more confusion and some may result in risky, even illicit behaviors. There may be decisions that may impact you in adverse ways or cause permanent damage.

Identity formation is inevitable, but the risks can be avoided, particularly in the face of modern day challenges. Seeking help early can give you the opportunity to discover your self-concept and attain independence in a safe setting. Guided identity formation during adolescence can be useful in assisting you to develop a solid, positive identity. This means forming your principles based on integrity, and standing by them with conviction and without fear. Seeking help from a counselor or therapist is a good decision to work through your identity transformation, using tools to steer clear of risks and positively navigate your issues. Counseling can be an invaluable asset during this difficult time. Discuss with a parent about contacting Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC – so you can be matched with an independently contracted counselor who can help. Have them call today to make your first appointment!

Related Articles:

The Journey to Discovering the Teen Identity

Helping Teenagers Find Solutions

Who Am I? Getting to Know Yourself During Adolescence