Children are just as susceptible to grief as adults, though they will express it differently. If your family has experienced a loss you are all likely grieving together and in your own ways. You deserve support and a safe place to process what you are going through. Therapy can help. 

How Children Experience Loss

Loss can affect children differently. Their responses can manifest emotionally, cognitively, and/or behaviorally. Some emotional responses can include anger, sadness, confusion, feelings of abandonment and self-doubt or uncertainty. They may also feel guilt, if they think that they are somehow responsible for what happened or worry they have not spent enough time with a departed loved one.  Unable to understand the loss and everything surrounding it, they can feel confused and afraid.

Grief may also cause an older child temporary regression, wanting to be young like a toddler again, when they have an infantile understanding of death. This can at times feel comforting

Behavioral manifestations may include irritability, angry outbursts, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, and persistent inquisition about the loved one and what happened before the loss.  They may also exhibit fear of their own frailty, poor performance in academic and non-academic pursuits, psychosomatic complaints, nightmares and feelings of helplessness.

Symptoms of Grief to Spot

Grief is personal in each child, they present it in unique and different ways. Aside from their age and level of maturity, their sense of “connectedness” with whom or what was lost can matter, affecting the intensity of their grief. There are immediate reactions after a loss that may be resolved in due time, such as:

• Regressive behaviors such as thumb sucking or bedwetting
• Coldness or shock
• Grumbling, clinging and/or crying
• Inability to focus
• Significant changes in sleeping and/or eating patterns
• Noticeable mood shifts
• Aggression, meltdowns, hyperactivity and acting out

According to American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), some concerning ways children experience grief can include:

• an extended period of depression in which a child loses interest in daily activities and events
• inability to sleep, loss of appetite, prolonged fear of being alone
• acting much younger for an extended period
• excessively imitating the dead person
• Believing they are talking to or seeing the deceased family member for an extended period of time
• repeated statements of wanting to join the dead person
• withdrawal from friends, or other family members
• sharp drop in school performance or refusal to attend school

If you are concerned about how your child is processing their grief it is worth addressing. Counseling can help. 

Finding the Help You Need and Deserve

Loss is inevitable; however, prolonged suffering is not. While these events may be out of your control, helping your child is within your power. Grief is powerful and overwhelming; it can be confusing for a child. You can benefit from the help of someone who understands child grief – a therapist/counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services in Sanford, North Carolina.

With the help of the right therapist, you and your child can receive the support you need and deserve as you navigate through your loss. Call CCS today to schedule your first appointment.

Related Articles:

• Releasing Yourself from Grief and Trauma with a Counselor
• Grief: Crucial Things You Need to Know
• Getting Help to Bounce Back from Grief and Trauma
• The Healthy Way to Help Children Process Grief
• Staying Strong As a Couple in Times of Grief
• Protecting Your Marriage Against the Impact of Grief
• Easing Teen Grief with Counseling
• Putting an End to Grief
• Grieving and Healing as a Family