Breaking the Silence: Bridging the Void of Marital Miscommunication

Unresolved conflict can cause problems in even the happiest of relationships. In some marriages, spouses prefer to avoid conflict by not bringing concerns up, as a way to keep the peace. While this may work for a short time, it’s rarely a long-term solution.  Shutting each other out or not addressing your concerns is not a sustainable solution. 

The unspoken concerns and aggravations can mount until the tension hits a breaking point. Eventually, partners can emotionally erupt, or worse, withdraw.  It can feel like it’s too late to start talking again, you may even question whether you want to remain in the relationship. You don’t have to wait until hope seems lost to seek help.

Marriage counseling can make a big difference when it comes to communication. It can be difficult to know where to start or what to say, therapy can help. 

Other Major Causes of Marital Miscommunication

Every marriage is likely to face difficulties, and the most devoted couples can face many challenges together. Trying and stressful situations may come along, but there are some factors that can create distance between partners.  Here are some of the major causes:

  • Busyness – Everyone has distractions that can take away the energy needed to devote to their marriage.  You may be pursuing a passion you do not share with your spouse or using work as a shield to avoid home life, this ‘busyness’ can alienate your partner and harm your relationship.
  • Unresolved conflict – Constant conflict can take away the vitality and safety felt in a marriage. The draining nature of conflict can create distance, especially when couples decide to avoid communicating.
  • Turning Away from Each Other. There is a time in most relationships where your partner is the person you turn to. They are the person you share your ups and downs with. When there is unresolved conflict, or your relationship is struggling you may begin to avoid your spouse and turn to others for support. This can cause a great deal of damage to your relationship. 

If you feel that busyness, conflict and turning away could be affecting your relationship, consider marriage counseling – it may be the missing ingredient for an enduring marriage.

Break the Silence that is Hurting Your Marriage

Good communication can be the foundation of a successful marriage.  The absence of it or poor communication skills in general, can gradually deteriorate a relationship. Avoiding difficult conversations prevents learning about each other, it can hinder you from expressing your deeper needs.  The risks of continuous silence can also contribute to the buildup of resentment which can destroy any relationship.

Being married or in a relationship dominated by silence usually indicates there may be underlying tension present.  You or your spouse’s inability to express what you are feeling at a given moment can lead to emotional hurt because it can leave the other person feeling unimportant.  As a result, the unexpressed problematic feelings tend to increase until they take on an energy of their own. Too much silence is unproductive and when allowed to persist, the non-verbalized feelings can become painful and result in feeling alone, even when you are together.

If you find it difficult to initiate communication with your partner, seeking marriage counseling may be the answer. Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC contracts with skilled marriage therapists.  Start communicating again with CCS. Call today to get started.

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