Easing Teen Grief with Counseling

Being a teenager can be complicated. Under normal circumstances, a teenager has to manage hormonal and body changes, social expectations, peer pressure, and academic demands. When you add loss such as a death in the family, parental separation or breakups into the mix, an already stressed teenager may become completely overwhelmed with grief. Grief and loss can be difficult to process, counseling can help. 

The Complexity of Teen Grief

While teens are no longer children, they are not yet adults. As they develop and change, they are also forming their identity. Some parents and elders, however, still regard their teens as the children they once were. Because of this, when a loss occurs a grieving teen may attempt to hide their feelings for concern of being “babied” or not allowed to grieve as adults do.

On the other hand, a teen may act at times like an adult, but it is not always true that they are ready to grieve as an adult. If teens are expected to remain strong for people around them, or bear the responsibility to care for the family after a major loss, they are likely to deny their own grief. Teens may act as if nothing has happened, but in truth, they are feeling broken inside. Fearing the vulnerability that comes with openly expressing grief, they may look for distraction rather than allowing the grieving process to occur.

Unmasking Teen Grief

Like adults, teens grieve as a natural reaction to a loss, such as death. But there are many reasons why teens have difficulty controlling the emotions, thoughts and actions associated with grief. The significant developmental changes happening during the teen years may contribute to their uncertainty about how to process and express strong emotions.

Even though teens try to look like adults and assert their independence, they may feel overwhelmed or frightened. Teens need compassionate support on a consistent basis as they work through the complicated process of mourning. Their physical development does not equal emotional maturity.

The loss of a loved one is a very stressful event for anyone, but when a teen loses a loved one, the emotions felt are different from those of children and older adults. At this age of transition from childhood to adulthood, it is common for them to struggle with despair, anger, hatred, and sadness. This confusion may lead to withdrawal, depressed mood, aggressive behavior, or even substance abuse. In times like this, a teen needs extra support and guidance to process and express their feelings.

Signs That Professional Intervention May Be Necessary

Everyone has a different reaction to loss and employs different tactics to get past it. Grief can be healthy when it allows a person to understand their loss. Although sadness may stay, it does subside to enable you to continue living your life.

Teenage grief is no different. Some teens are able to recover from loss on their own, while others may need support to process their emotions. Although there is no right or wrong way to express grief, some persistent and disabling symptoms indicate that a teen is having difficulty grieving and that extra help from a professional may be beneficial. This includes psychological, emotional, and physical responses such as:

  • Prolonged sadness
  • Restlessness
  • Changes in sleeping or eating patterns
  • Academic failure or loss of interest in school-related activities
  • Isolation or deterioration of relationship with family and peers
  • Fixation on death
  • Frequent nightmares
  • Concentration problem
  • Self-harming behavior
  • Reckless sexual experimentation

Finding Help for Teens during a Difficult Time

Every person is unique, and so is the grief they feel. There are times, however, when even the most caring adults may unconsciously condone inappropriate behavior and feelings in grieving teens. Despite all the existing theories and models of the grieving process, it is still a lonely journey to travel. What is important is to allow teens to choose the manner by which they can express grief.

That’s where Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC, can best assist your teen during this difficult time. Our independently contracted counselors believe that a grieving teen needs a safe, non-judgmental environment for the expression of their feelings.

If you suspect a special young person in your life is having a difficult time facing the complicated challenges of grief, call CCS for help.

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