Finding the Calm:
Resolving Anxiety in Your Family

Anxiety is one of the most common and pervasive emotional conditions affecting both children and adults. It is often thought of and discussed as a serious, medical condition that may affect a person on an individual basis. Many people, though, are not aware that anxiety can be experienced by an entire family together.

There can be a certain amount of anxiety in most families, including the happiest ones. Like a container, a family can only hold so much. If there is less stress, or the family has less to muddle through, then the anxiety level can be low. Some amount of worry or stress may not be enough to fill the family to the brim.

When the family container, however, can no longer hold the stress happening, then anxiety overflows into each member of the family. One may end up with too much of the distress, or someone in the family may become physically ill. If the level of family anxiety is high enough, it will spill over to members or even the entire family.

Understanding the Two Types of Family Anxiety

  • Family-Wide Anxiety: This simply means that the excessive worry and anxiety permeates through the whole family. All members are anxious about the same thing, yet the feelings and ways each person expresses anxiety can be different. Family anxiety is usually caused by an event, experience or time that occurred in the family, which may include divorce, illness, death, adoption, or a new birth.

A family may experience anxiety altogether when moving to a new location. Moving may turn out to be stressful for members, bringing about a lot of questions for them. For example, children may wonder who their new friends will be, while adults may be stressed by the commute from home to work and back. Although some moves may not necessarily bring anxiety to the entire family, some can if a lot of changes are involved, such as financial shifts and social support. Family-wide anxiety can be felt more if no one is addressing the negative feelings within the family.

  • Individual Anxiety: Apart from the fact that anxiety may run in the family, it can be triggered by some environmental risk factors, including a traumatic life event and turbulent relationships. When anxiety is felt between two family members it can affect the entire home. It can particularly occur when the family cannot separate the anxiety felt by one member from the whole unit, causing a ripple effect on the entire family system.


When Anxiety Resides at Home

Based on studies, parents and children can affect each other’s anxiety tendencies, especially those living in the same house. Just by observing the parents and hearing their anxious words can contribute to anxious behavior in children. A parent who is prone to anxiety may express their symptoms through “parental control” by giving directives, which the child may view as intrusive. A parent who experiences anxiety may tend to catastrophize events and interpret them as potential threats. This fear can cause the parent to restrict the child from engaging in certain age-appropriate activities just to ensure safety.

Family anxiety is a sneaky phenomenon. It may originate from an anxiety exchange between the parents and trickle down to the children, moving from one person to another in the family. Sometimes, instead of disturbing the whole household, anxiety may settle on one member, often a child. If not addressed early, they may continue to act out without the others realizing the reaction is an expression of anxiety coming from the family. A parent’s anxiety can increase anxiety in a child and vice versa.

Keep in mind that the family is an emotional unit by nature. By noting how anxiety is affecting the members, whether family-wide or individually, it is important to acknowledge and address the situation. If ignored, anxiety will likely permeate the entire home and further impair the member from whom the anxiety originated.

A family experiencing anxiety often engages in avoidance behaviors. This means shying away from taking risks, including the healthy and developmentally age-appropriate ones. When anxiety cycles through the family, adult and young members are not able to leave their comfort zones and push their limits in a healthy way. Anxiety is a natural human emotion and will always be present in one way or another, but when its affects functioning, treatment may be needed.

Impact of Anxiety in the Family

Anxiety can affect the family in a variety of ways. The symptoms one member may experience – irritability, poor sleep and appetite, tension, etc. – can have an impact on the interpersonal relationships within the family and affect the ability to perform daily routines.

The disorder is often comorbid with other serious concerns, such as depression and substance abuse. When anxiety affects a member or the family, the risk of having other disorders is tremendously high, posing a serious impact on both relationships and functioning.

Resolve Anxiety in the Family with Counseling

When one or more family members struggle with anxiety, the entire unit can struggle as well. As a parent, you may feel guilty or to blame when you see anxiety impacting your family. No one is to blame; anxiety can affect anyone though there often is a need for intervention sooner rather than later when you see anxiety impacting your home.

If the cycle of anxiety is happening in your family, trying to find the possible causes could be counterproductive during this time of great stress. This is an important time to consider what action to take. Often, it takes someone in the family to lead and come forward to address the issue. You can stop the cycle and change the course of anxiety in your family.

Anxiety is powerful, but you are not powerless. Help is available. Therapy can help you and your family get to the root of the anxiety and recover together. Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC contracts with professional, independently licensed therapists who can help. Call today to schedule your first appointment.

The best way to regain calmness in your family can be to seek an effectively designed treatment plan to resolve the red flags of anxiety. Call CCS – Sanford, NC now to request an appointment!

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