Guilt is a natural human emotion that can even be good when it keeps us from doing things we feel are “wrong”. Taken in that light, it can indeed protect valued relationships from potential conflicts. However, it is important to note that excessive and constant guilt can also be counterproductive. Many studies have shown that guilt can have a negative impact on you and the way you live your life. If you struggle with persistent, excessive guilt you probably didn’t need a study to tell you that it isn’t healthy for you. When guilt becomes excessive it can not only impact you but also those closest to you.

Doing something about your unresolved guilt can be constructive. Chronic and persistent guilt can be linked to various mental health conditions such as anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, OCD and even eating disorders. Guilt can be overwhelming for you as well as your family, counseling can help.

The Guilt You Want Resolved

A Psychology Today post by Guy Winch, PhD, mentioned that unresolved guilt can impact your thinking, behavior, relationships, and life in general. He says, “Unresolved guilt is like having a snooze alarm in your head that won’t shut off.” It can steal your focus, making it difficult to think straight or enjoy life. It can make you punish yourself and lead to feelings like resentment, bitterness, loneliness, etc. It can also impact your physical and mental health.

Experts believe that excessive and unresolved guilt can increase your vulnerability to emotional conditions such as depression. In an attempt to repress your guilt, you may choose to isolate yourself and avoid your family. You may also express your guilt in unhealthy ways like angry outbursts, irritability and even self-defeating behaviors.

Understanding Guilt

Guilt is an emotional distress response or “red flag” that you are likely to feel when you believe you have wronged someone. Good Therapy says it “plays a major role in moral behavior and can encourage people to follow ethical codes and social norms.” It is a feeling that is uniquely human, because we have a conscience. As such, it can help you be accountable for your wrongdoings and develop a greater understanding of other people.

While guilt is a normal response, it should not be a constant feeling. Living with unresolved guilt can be extremely difficult, not only for you, but also for your family. The feeling can “nag” you, particularly when it violates your basic beliefs and life norms. The article “How to Protect Your Family from Your Own Guilty Conscience” featured in Anderson’s post says, “The guilt response brings discomfort for a purpose. Changing actions for the right makes the discomfort go away.”

When the feeling is connected with disgrace, embarrassment, or ridicule, it can linger even after you do something to make amends or right your wrong. This can be when guilt becomes no longer useful.

Living with Unresolved Guilt

Unresolved guilt can hinder your relationships as it gets more complicated, and can trigger more negative feelings and behaviors. Untreated, it can snowball over time as more interactions and experiences lead to more guilt, stunting your personal growth and even resulting in negative interactions with your family. Resolving this kind of guilt is essential, however, it will not just miraculously vanish on its own.

There are ways to help yourself address your nagging feelings of guilt, such as apologizing and asking forgiveness, making amends, etc. None of this, however, is easy, particularly when you are experiencing anxiety or depression. Rather than being caught up in feelings of isolation, loneliness, and culpability, stand up to your guilt by seeking counseling.

Counseling: The Realistic Escape Route from Guilt

Your conscience can be a moral compass helping you to lead a life you are proud of. When we behave in ways that don’t line up with our morals and values we can feel guilty.This is natural and we often find that the guilt dissipates when we apologize and start making better choices. If, however, you are feeling excessive and irrational guilt that becomes persistent it is time to make a change.

Counseling can help you to identify where your guilt is coming from and find healthy ways to move through it. Guilt will impact not only you but those closest to you. Don’t let guilt ruin your most valuable family relationships.

Carolina Counseling Services in Sanford, NC contracts with caring licensed therapists who know how to treat excessive guilt. Call CCS in Sanford, NC to schedule your first appointment. Providers are in network with most major insurances including Aetna. Aetna State Health Plan, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina (Blue Cross NC), Tricare, Medicaid and many more!

Related Articles:

• The 10 Best Things Family Counseling Does to Help
• Generational Anger: How Can Anger Affect a Family?
• Mitigating the Impact of Emotional Crisis in the Family
• Grieving and Healing as a Family
• Finding the Calm: Resolving Anxiety in Your Family
• How Can Treatment for my Depression help my Family?

Jaime Johnson Fitzpatrick LCMHCS, LCAS is one of the Owners and Vice Presidents of Carolina Counseling Services. She is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist in the State of North Carolina as well as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in State of New York. Jaime is also certified in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and utilizes various other approaches in her practice.