Grief comes for everyone. It will be experienced at one time or another when you lose someone or something precious in your life. Loss can be traumatic, particularly if it happens unexpectedly or if you lose someone very close to your heart. In this case, bouncing back and moving on can be very difficult.

Grieving is natural, just as moving on is, after some time. But, for some people, getting back on track and moving forward can take a long time, especially when the loss is traumatic and the hurt is intense. You deserve to move forward, even if it is painful. A counselor can help.

Understanding Grief and Trauma

Grief is natural, but it isn’t the same for every person or for every loss. It can be more overwhelming, like the hurt and sorrow will never let up, when the loss is devastating or happens following a traumatic event. For example, the loss of a job can throw you off balance, but it is not likely to be as painful as losing a beloved child, parent, or partner.

A traumatic event that is far outside what you normally expect, referred to as “complex trauma,” can be even more devastating. The grief in response to a complex trauma can go far beyond the usual pain people experience, in terms of intensity and duration. Recovery from this kind of grief may not be easy.

Acute grief may also take the form of “complicated grief (CG).” According to Deborah Khoshaba, Psy.D., in a Psychology Today post, “acute grief can gain a foothold and become a chronic, debilitating mental health condition that worsens over time, rather than gets better. Some people are more vulnerable to it if they have ‘pre-existing mental health conditions, multiple stressors, emotional dependency, or substance abuse issues.’”

Grieving and Healing on Your Own

It can be normal to initially keep your grief to yourself. Be patient, because healing can be very slow, there is no set timeline. While there is no “timetable” for healing, grieving may be complicated if you have been living with grief for months or years on end.

Grief is personal, so you will grieve differently from others, even from those who have experienced similar losses or trauma. You can’t compare your speed of healing to theirs. For complex trauma and grief, adjusting to these enormous changes without help can be exceedingly difficult. Therapy can help. 

What You May Be Doing Wrong

Burying or ignoring the trauma won’t help. In fact, Help Guide advises that “the pain will go away faster if you ignore it” is a myth. Rather, “Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.”

When you are experiencing complex trauma or grief, the symptoms will not dissipate if you just ignore it. In many cases, ignoring your feelings can only temporarily suppress them. Your grief will get worse and resurface later. This often happens with unprocessed traumatic experiences from childhood. When children have no way to understand or process their trauma, the memories and feelings can be buried for a long time until they “explode” at some future time when it is least expected.

Release Grief and Trauma with Treatment

Complex grief resulting from complex trauma can be likened to a roller-coaster ride—it is rough, with many ups and downs, which are deep and long, especially at the start. Ignored, it can get worse or more prolonged. If you or a loved one can’t take the bumpy ride anymore, know that recovery can be facilitated with the help of a good counselor contracted with Carolina Counseling Services in Sanford, NC.

Talking to a therapist who understands complex trauma and grief is healing. While family and friends can offer support at this time, releasing your pain with the guidance of an experienced grief counselor can be immensely cathartic. End the roller-coaster ride now. Reach out to CCS today for an appointment. It’s time to get started.

If you are looking for exceptional psychiatric care in Sanford, North Carolina or even its surrounding areas like; Holly Springs, Smithfield, Lexington etc.call CCS.  Providers are in network with most major insurances including Aetna, Aetna State Health Plan, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina (Blue Cross NC), Tricare, Medicaid and many more. Online appointments are also available making getting quality mental health treatment anywhere in North Carolina easier than ever before!

Related Articles:

• Getting Help to Bounce Back from Grief and Trauma
• Grief: Crucial Things You Need to Know
• Grieving and Healing as a Family
• The Healthy Way to Help Children Process Grief
• Staying Strong As a Couple in Times of Grief
• Protecting Your Marriage Against the Impact of Grief
• Easing Teen Grief with Counseling
• A Child in Grief: Bringing Back The Smile
• Putting an End to Grief

Jaime Johnson Fitzpatrick LCMHCS, LCAS is one of the Owners and Vice Presidents of Carolina Counseling Services. She is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist in the State of North Carolina as well as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in State of New York. Jaime is also certified in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and utilizes various other approaches in her practice.