Resolving Persistent and Intense Child Anger

When children are concerned, outbursts, tantrums and other responses/behaviors that depict anger are not necessarily surprising. Anger is, after all, a natural emotion, especially among youth. Having less capacity for this powerful emotion, they may lash out when they are frustrated, hurt or can’t have what they want. They may cry nonstop when feeling agitated, tired, or ill.  They may scream at the top of their lungs, regardless of where they are, in response to reproaches or teasing.

Being young and unable to limit their anger, adults are generally tolerant of this behavior. It cannot, however, be ignored when the meltdowns or outbursts have gone beyond typical childish behavior, or if they’re excessive, frequent, and without a justifiable cause. Anger deserves attention because it can be an indication of a deeper emotional root – depression, anxiety, overwhelm or other mood disorders. Persistent and intense anger can also be a sign of certain behavioral issues, such as trouble in perceiving and reading social signals.

Simply put, this kind of anger cannot be taken with a grain of salt. It can be a sign of something bigger or more serious that can affect the different facets of your child’s life, including their development. Being nonspecific, however, it isn’t easy to tell if it meets the criteria of any of the known emotional conditions. Your best option is to seek professional help, so that their anger and other symptoms can be evaluated and properly treated.

Child Anger: What Could It Mean?

A child’s young brain can be incapable of processing their raw emotions, especially when they are distressed. This is the reason for their emotional outbursts, tantrums or meltdowns. This means that they may exhibit anger when feeling afraid, sad, frustrated, or offended. It can also be used to mask guilt, grief or poor self-esteem. At worse, anger can indicate sensory processing conditions, learning challenges, autism, and even emotional or behavioral conditions. A child can also be confused when there are several issues going on at the same time.

Anger can also be used to release pent-up emotions that have been contained too long for children with a traumatic or extremely sad past. Neglected or abused when they were young, they may act out each time they feel threatened. Being angry also seems like a natural consequence when they have difficulty following instructions, finishing tasks, or moving from one chore to another. This can result in young learners being predisposed to anger, if they are struggling with sensory processing conditions and cannot successfully complete tasks because of certain stimuli like light, noise, confusion, etc.

Anger can similarly be a manifestation of a misbehavior, that may or may not be linked to behavioral issues, such as Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), or Conduct Disorder (CD). Several studies show that more than 50 percent of children with ADHD also struggle with anger issues. Anxious and depressed children are similarly predisposed to anger when hiding or avoiding their fears or source of fear.

The Red Flags of Worrisome Anger

While it is accepted for children to express their negative and confusing feelings in anger, it cannot be too frequent, too intense, and illogical most of the time. Persistent and intense anger is not a typical or common child behavior. Persistent – it may mean that the source of distress is always present as well. Intense – it can have a disruptive effect on the life of your child. It can push away people – their peers and siblings – so that they feel isolated in the school, outdoor play areas, and even at home. It can also affect you, reacting to it impulsively, either by conforming to their demands to appease them or by applying discipline.

Though these methods are not essentially wrong, they may not be able to generate a helpful experience for your child’s overall growth. A stern hand may not be able to effectively teach them how to improve their behavior or restrain their rage. Perhaps doing so can diffuse the heat for the time being, but not for good. Not doing anything can also be unsettling, like you are simply tolerating them – letting them be, even when they are at risk for something worse. When some red flags of persistent and intense anger are observed, it is time to seek help from a counselor, following are some of these:

  • Your child’s tantrums and outbursts are occurring past the age at which they’re developmentally expected (up to about 7 or 8 years old)
  • His/her behavior is dangerous to their self or others
  • His/her behavior is causing them serious trouble at school, with teachers reporting that he or she is “out of control”
  • His/her behavior is interfering with their ability to get along with other children, so they may be excluded from activities, playdates and birthday parties
  • His/her tantrums and defiance are causing a lot of conflict at home and disrupting family life
  • He or she is upset because they feel they can’t contain their anger, which can result in them feeling bad about themselves

 

Child Counseling: The Means to An End

It often isn’t easy to be objective when your own child is concerned, but as a parent, giving up isn’t an option you want to consider at any point. Your child’s persistent and intense anger could just be the “tip of the iceberg.” There could be more to it than “meets the eye.” This means a bigger challenge for you. Dismaying as it may be, your usual parenting style may not work on your child, despite your great love and devotion, or experience, if you have other offspring.

You are not without recourse. Rather than staining your imagination and patience or being distressed by your child’s continuing and intense anger, give an accessible strategy near your home a chance – child counseling. Entrusting your beloved child to a trustworthy and qualified expert is a smart and loving decision. Proactive, and done in a caring and safe environment, it can be what your child needs to express their feelings. Their anger and other symptoms can be properly evaluated, and a personalized treatment can be tailored to meet their needs.

Anger is a powerful emotion that may not be easy to curb or regulate, even for adults, and more so for young children, but it is not impossible. One thing that’s critical to determine is the underlying root/s or cause/s. This isn’t something that untrained parents can do on their own. Self-help guides may help, but it cannot take the place of a methodical assessment of symptoms, diagnosis and treatment of the condition or issue/s by a well-trained and experienced child counselor or therapist.

The Gift of Professional Help: Toward Resolving Anger

Persistent and intense anger is damaging if it is allowed to consume your child. Though it can be a healthy emotion to be expressed, it might be risky to allow this innate reaction to worsen. Without helping them rein in their explosive feelings, they could run the risk of more intense and persistent emotional flare-ups, damaging their relationships with family and peers. Though you love them unconditionally, you may likely be wary of making excuses for their frequent rage. What you may want is to resolve their anger issues with the help of a therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC.

Your child’s persistent and intense anger isn’t without underlying meaning. “There is no diagnosis for angry behavior per se, but some of the conditions that involve intense anger are: bipolar disorder, oppositional disorder, and child antisocial behavior,” says Psychology Today. This emphasizes the gloomier side of the situation, but despite the possibilities, there is also hope. The kind of professional help that you can receive from a caring counselor/therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Sanford, NC is a gift that’s within reach. Call today!

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