Is Your Teen Trapped in Anger?

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Romanticized imagery of parents and children are all around us with social media, but parenthood is complicated. Raising children is challenging just as it is rewarding. If you are feeling this way, you aren’t alone. 

Not every teen has behavioral issues and anger is a normal emotion. However, if your adolescent child’s anger and aggressiveness often lead to trouble, you are probably worried. Counseling can help. 

Behind the Anger: The Mind of an Angry Teen

Adolescents may be the size of adults and may try to act like adults, but they don’t have the brains of adults. Their brains are still developing until they reach their mid-twenties. To understand their brains is to understand how they think, which could involve puzzling contradictions. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), “Genes, childhood experience, and the environment in which a young person reaches adolescence all shape behavior… [but] all these factors act in the context of a brain that is changing, with its own impact on behavior.”

NIMH further explains some of these changes. One major change during adolescence is the increase in connections among various parts of the brain, fueling the speedy transmission of impulses. The brain connections involved in teen emotions are also changing during this stage. This means that not only is the connectivity enhancing their learning and intellectual capacities, it is activating emotional responses that may manifest as frequent irritability and anger.

During adolescence there will also be significant changes in levels of hormones during this phase. Hormones affect physical growth and sexual development, but also the brain’s reaction to pressure and stresses. This can lead to many complications in the way teens respond and behave.

The Anger Trap

As an adult, you likely have learned to keep your anger under control. However, it can be difficult to rein in, especially for a child or an adolescent. Teens may scream at the top of their lungs, slam doors, or throw things in anger and exasperation. If emotions get too out of control, they may do things that can alter their lives forever.

There are many factors that can shape how your adolescent child expresses anger. If you have unknowingly established a “culture of anger” in your family, or if your teen is being bullied or surrounded by peers who are aggressive and defiant, they may feel as if they are trapped in anger. Anger can feel all consuming, but it doesn’t have to be. 

Finding Help

A teen’s anger may not always manifest visibly. It has other more subtle expressions such as being overly critical, impatience, avoidance of people, etc. Anger may also be an expression of other negative emotions, such as sadness, guilt, shame, or frustration, that are causing your teen to lash out at you or others. It is common for teens to exhibit anger to release their internal conflicts but it is important that you not ignore it. 

Your teen’s anger may not be just a passing phase, but a sign of an emotional condition such as depression, anxiety, or poor self-esteem. It may not be easy to determine the root of your child’s anger, as it varies from one adolescent to another. You may notice that something is amiss or different, but it takes someone with training to accurately assess. Carolina Counseling Services in Sanford contracts with skilled licensed counselors and therapists who can help. Call today to schedule your first appointment.

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